I received this t-shirt as a gift for my 18th birthday, I believe. In those days I was singing in a rock band called Tumble Weed and we all really loved Guns n’ Roses…but this hasn’t changed with time. The t-shirt used to have a tight neckline which was really annoying for me, therefore I went home, took the scissors and cut open the neckline, giving it this look which I still love. The necklace is from Greenwich Market, I bought it for 5£.
I’ve been introduced to Charles Bukowski by my friend Tony in London, I was 23 then. I remember my sister Alice talking to the family about him, how she liked him and read his books. She must have been 18 years old, I was 12 and I didn’t pay attention. But I remembered that name through the years; funny how things fall naturally into place, sometimes.
Now, Bukowski has been a big literal influence for me since then and I find him being a hopeless junkie who had eternal love for human emotions:
I’ve never been lonely. I’ve been in a room — I’ve felt suicidal. I’ve been depressed. I’ve felt awful — awful beyond all — but I never felt that one other person could enter that room and cure what was bothering me…or that any number of people could enter that room. In other words, loneliness is something I’ve never been bothered with because I’ve always had this terrible itch for solitude. It’s being at a party, or at a stadium full of people cheering for something, that I might feel loneliness. I’ll quote Ibsen, “The strongest men are the most alone.” I’ve never thought, “Well, some beautiful blonde will come in here and I’ll feel good.” No, that won’t help. You know the typical crowd, “Wow, it’s Friday night, what are you going to do? Just sit there?” Well, yeah. Because there’s nothing out there. It’s stupidity. Stupid people mingling with stupid people. Let them stupidify themselves. I’ve never been bothered with the need to rush out into the night. I hid in bars, because I didn’t want to hide in factories. That’s all. Sorry for all the millions, but I’ve never been lonely. I like myself. I’m the best form of entertainment I have. Let’s drink more wine!
CHARLES BUKOWSKI _ ON LONLINESS
These are a few self-portraits.
I’m learning to use my camera, using new lighting and settings.
I’m wearing my Cowboy Necklace. I bought the scarf for 5£ at Vintage Basement in Brick Lane, London.
Hat by @tonyalexanderstone. The suit is Vivienne Westwood.
Glad to post the first pictures on this website.